Word For The Year: Trust
It seemed easy. Peaceful enough to hide in a collection of memories encompassed by every other predictable excursion in the past. Yet somehow, still having enough aggression to be an adventure. This seemingly small challenge eventually taught us that what seems to be on the surface can be deceitfully different from our initial expectations, though not always in a bad way.
When expectations prove to be different and circumstances seem difficult, it is through the journey that we learn to keep pushing. We learn to keep pushing forward against everything else pushing us back.
We learn to keep trusting.
The waves were steady, the sun was shining, and the clouds offered enough shade to keep the sun from making it too warm. The fleece lining in my denim jacket provided a little warmth in the 60-degree weather, a constant breeze making it cool enough to shiver through three other layers. The lake looked inviting with the sunshine reflecting off the water, but the rigid movement of the waves breaking through the smooth surface proved the water to be anything but bearable below the surface.
We followed the usual three-step routine: go to the shed, grab the kayaks and hop in the water. We expected the promising and predictable excursions we had grown familiar with, choosing a direction to travel based on what we felt that day.
Dark mud streaks marked our tracks in the grass as the kayaks trailed behind us, making our way to the sandy shore of the lake. A mixture of water and dirt stirred from the bottom of the lake, water splashing into our seats. The determined goal for the day was to make it half-way around the lake to a little yellow house, and then we could turn and go back feeling accomplished and proud.
I started rowing, making a small distance between my sister and me, allowing every stroke to ease the tension that had begun to make an appearance earlier that week.
I got lost in thought and barely noticed the wind picking up. I glanced back to see my sister, who now looked like a small dot, yelling for me to slow down. I let up, but only for a minute, before continuing. Each row more difficult as the wind blew harder, but I kept going, wanting more with each row to reach that yellow house.
My sister caught up, and we made it to that little yellow house (yay!). We started to turn around, a bit exhausted from the journey to get there, but the burn in our shoulders gave us a little more motivation to get back.
Getting to this point was relatively easy- nothing too complicated or stressful.
The breeze picked up in small increments before becoming a steady force we had to fight. The sun moved behind the clouds, stealing our warmth and causing me to put my arms through the sleeves of the denim jacket I had taken off only minutes earlier.
The waves grew taller, the freezing water breaking against the side of the kayak and splashing onto the flannel pajama pants I was wearing- not the cutest kayaking attire, I know, but I’m all about comfort these days.
I pushed on, knowing I needed to finish but feeling it almost impossible to do so. My shoulders burned with a ~slightly~ more noticeable sting, and my arms ached, but the tension between the waves and the paddle digging into the water distracted me from any discomfort my body was feeling.
But my paddle pushed me forward. Through the turmoil and aches, it was the paddle that moved me, pushing me closer to the safety of home when it felt the chaos around me was pushing me back. So, I leaned into it, pressing on towards the goal, leaning into every stroke. The paddle pushed me forward; I only needed to put in the effort.
As I was fighting to get back home, I thought how this seems to relate a lot to where many of us are in life right now, or even 2021 itself.
It looks easy. We’re full of hope and expectation, promises and opportunity. We throw our kayaks blindly into the water because it seems safe and easy. The wind feels a little breezy but nothing too harsh. What’s easy slowly turns into difficulty, progressing into a more powerful force. Forces we feel incapable of handling… or trusting.
Eventually, it becomes a force we can’t control; and it takes everything from us, draining our strength and taking our energy. We are just fighting to get to our destination, our goal.
For some, there isn’t even a destination to reach or a little yellow house half-way. The goal isn’t in sight, and it’s an in-between stage of wading in the waters, looking for a way out. Periods of repetition and monotonous routine leave you feeling trapped.
Every year, I have a word that I consider to be the “theme” for how I want to live the next 12 months.
It’s a word that pushes me to grow, challenges me to explore new opportunities, and presses me deeper into my relationship with Jesus. Last year’s word was “BOLD,” and I wrote about what that means to be *here*.
This year, during a time that seems to be evolving and continuously changing, I chose the word “trust.”
Trust. A simple word with difficult meaning. I often find it hard to trust, which is why I want to work on it. Trusting people, trusting myself and trusting God. All three seem easy but they are still very complicated and complex.
Trust is most difficult when we find ourselves in the waters of change- when we expect one thing, and the outcome is another. It is difficult to trust when we expect smooth waters, and they’re rough. It is difficult to trust when we expect a slight breeze and a windstorm comes. It is difficult to trust when we expect sunshine, and we get dark clouds.
I don’t know what your 2021 will be like, but I know there is hope, there is joy, and there is TRUST we can find in the One who is in control over all of it! Situations will change, circumstances will be less than ideal, and exhaustion will settle, the temptation to give up will creep in.
Keep pushing forward.
Change may affect large areas of your life, but it does not have the power to transform and consume your life more than Jesus. Trust the process and trust the One in control of the process.
I often view change as my enemy, but I have come to find that it is what I never knew I needed. Trust yourself, trust your instincts, trust others and trust God.
God will lead you where He needs you.
First, you must keep putting in the effort; keep pushing forward.
We eventually made it back to our final destination at home safely, but not without a little push. However, it was the change in circumstances that taught me that all I need to do is grab onto my paddle, and it will push me forward to take me exactly where I need to be, in God’s strength, not my own. I just need to trust.
2 Comments
Ginger Houck
Trust. That’s what I need to learn, even at my age.
Trust. Again, your writing is so helpful. Thank you for sharing. Love you.
Ma
I can hardly believe reading this that you aren’t a famous writer. It is that good. I loved it