Trusting when life seems uncertain
We climbed off our ATVs and made our way down to the beach. It was almost golden hour, and the sun had a golden glow that reflected off the water. Off to the side, there was a wall lined against the ocean formed of rocks from the fallen ashes of an old volcano that erupted hundreds of years ago. Growing accustomed to the task of climbing rocks in Costa Rica, we followed one after the other in a straight line as we began walking along the rock wall.
The rocks we were walking over were pointy and uneven, but that just added to the experience. The water was coming in around us, and the white waves were breaking against the black rock as they seemed to crash into one another. It was peaceful to observe. I enjoyed this spot- quiet and relaxing.
We followed the guide as he motioned for us to do- if you missed last week’s blog, read it *here*. Long story short, always follow your guide.
“If you’re up for a little bit of a challenge,” he said, “follow me.” And again, if you read last week’s, you know we did just that. I was also not about to turn down a challenge.
As the volcanic rock we were walking over dead-ended, I peeked over to see the other side. My gaze followed our guide’s as he looked down at a line of stones leading to a small cave. The stones seemed to be a make-shift walkway to get to the cave he wanted to show us. Jumping from one stone to the next was our mission. I write “seemed to be” because most of the stones weren’t actually visible due to the rushing water from the ocean, which crashed against the side of the wall, covering all but a few visible stones.
My first thought in this moment: OH HECK TO THE NO. I’M NOT DOING THAT!!!!!
But our guide said the stones I wasn’t able to see were actually there, and he told us to follow him. You know we followed him!
My anxiety heightened. There were actual WAVES in this ocean- it wasn’t like a Florida beach. I was freaking. out.
Truth is, my anxiety heightened because of the way I had to walk to actually get into the cave.
I didn’t trust it.
The other truth here is that I’m extremely slow to trust. I fear trusting people because I don’t know their intentions; I fear trusting decisions because I don’t know the outcome; and I fear trusting the outcome because how do I know if that’s really the best thing?
I grabbed tight onto a rock jutting out and mustered all my strength as I held tight when the waves crashed against me, threatening to carry me out to the ocean. I made another jump to the next stone.
Trust can feel faulty- especially when we’re placing that trust in our circumstances; or in my case here, a rock wall.
As the pattern of waves rolling in died down, I lifted my hands from the rock they were clinging to and made another jump to the next stone. Even though I couldn’t see it, I had to trust it was there because my guide said it was.
Our fear of trust sometimes go beyond relationships and people. It turns into the fear of trusting we jumped to the next stone at the right time or trusting a tide won’t come in and sweep you away as you let go of the rock you’re clinging to.
Sometimes, it turns into the fear of trusting we will recover from or survive a deadly, fast-spreading virus that has created panic in our heart and chaos in this world.
We can’t place our trust in over-stocked pantries that cause us to fill our faces with quarantine snacks (I’m not saying cookies and chips ever hurt anyone though). We can’t place our trust in buying higher-than-average-amounts of toilet paper (if you actually use that much, you’ve got other issues). We can’t place our trust in hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes (though my Bath & Body Works hoarding over the years is coming in clutch). These things all help, and it’s good to have them; but they can’t be where we place our trust. If we make the jump for these things, we’re going to drown.
We can’t place our trust in our circumstances. It will always fail us.
As the tide seemed to be changing by the second, I had to act fast and keep jumping. I needed to get a few more stones over to make it inside the cave. So, when it feels like the tide is changing by the second, how can we trust we can make the jump? How can we trust the water won’t consume us?
If I had relied solely on my own strength trying to get to the cave, this 5-foot girl would have been wiped out, carried away and never seen again. I had to cling to the rocks beside me to give me balance and build my strength. There were moments when my anxiety rose as high as the waves crashing around me. Just like I gripped onto the rocks beside me, we have to grip onto our Rock who is stronger than any other thing and any other person.
He is the One who fights our battles, the ones we know about and the ones we don’t. He is the One who has the answer to every question, the ones we ask and the ones we don’t. He is the One who protects us as He holds us in the palm of His hand EVEN in the middle of a world crisis because He made the world and holds IT in His hand too.
We trust the only One who has never given us a reason not to: Jesus.
He has proven Himself faithful to us to the point of death on a cross to provide forgiveness for things we have done wrong. He loves us so much that He is the One we can trust when the rest of our world seems faulty, shaky and uncertain.
During this time of waves crashing around us, our fear is overtaking our trust and we are searching. Searching for peace in anxiety, calm in worry, clarity in confusion, comfort in chaos and protection in danger. Searching for the next rock to jump to and wondering if it will be there when we jump.
Just like I had to trust my guide that next jump I made would be okay, we have to trust Jesus telling us when to not be afraid.
Jesus never tells us to make a jump without Him. He’s there holding our hand through it all.
We can take the jump because we know who controls the waves of the world. We can take the jump because even when our fear leads us to have difficulty trusting we’ll be okay, we know who we can trust.
We made it to the cave safely, but I was scared to death the entire time. Sometimes the things we go through and the challenges our world faces will be frightening; but we can always trust Jesus to have a plan, a purpose, and a hand to hold when our anxiety feels too much to handle.
If you have never known His peace or experienced the trust we can place in Him, then I would say now is a better time than any to give that trust to Him.
And never let the fear of trusting God be an excuse to not surrender. I think the time we are living in now with a virus that is killing people is proof that our time on this Earth is limited. There is a real Heaven and a real hell. Know which one you’re going to. He loves you. He cares for you. He’s with you- helping you make the jump even with the panic of crashing waves around us.
One Comment
Ma
Oh, Ashtyn! This is glorious!!! You have shared Jesus in a real way!