Releasing Control

We hopped in my grandpa’s old truck and drove around listening to music at sunset. I rested my head against the frame of the window that was rolled down and let the breeze hit my face, blowing my hair back. It was relaxing and peaceful. My papaw, who was driving, leaned over to ask if I wanted to drive as he made another turn around the lake on the backcountry roads.

“No thanks,” I answered. “I just want to enjoy the ride.”

A few hours later, waves hit, splashing up my leg and leaving cold water soaking my jean shorts. The waves broke as the white caps hit the jet ski. The wind blew back my hair again, though this time a bit more aggressively. Chill bumps formed on my skin. My sister, who was driving, leaned back to ask if I wanted to drive as she broke through another wave.

“No thanks,” I answered. “I just want to enjoy the ride.”

I’m usually the one in the driver’s seat, so I guess that’s why they kept asking. I’m known to be a backseat driver, offering “suggestions” and “tips” to the person sitting behind the wheel.

As I sat on the back of the jet ski, I clung to the straps hanging from the side of my sister’s life jacket as we drove against the waves. We made enough sharp turns in the water to make a full circle around a group of waves forming in the middle. Her thumb pressed full throttle on the gas, and we flew through the middle.

There were many questions to match the amount of worry building up in my mind at that moment. Did she know to let off the gas a little as we hit the waves? Did she know which direction to steer once we were out? Did she know how bad it would hurt if we got flung off?! Gosh, I hope she’s not trying to kill the both of us.

We went airborne for a few seconds before returning back to our normal spots on the seat; though, this time a little sloppier. It wasn’t that I was scared. I’ve been in way too many scenarios that played out exactly the same way (and put many other people in them too, haha).

I wanted to be the one driving.

I want to drive because I like to manage what direction I’m headed in, the speed I’m headed at and the destination when I finally stop.

Clinging to the back of my little sister isn’t exactly having full control of any of those things. I could trust that I knew how to keep us from flipping off, but it was difficult to put that trust in someone else’s hands.

I think we too often find ourselves in this position in our walk with God. We want to ask a lot of questions. We want to understand why He’s taking us in the direction we’re going in. And when we see we’re about to hit the big waves, we attempt to yank the steering wheel from His grip to steer the direction ourselves.

I promise- the direction we would steer towards isn’t the direction we want to go in!

I’m reading through Jeremiah, and Jeremiah 32 takes place when foreigners were attacking Jerusalem. Jeremiah’s cousin, Hanamel, came to him selling land that “for the right of redemption by purchase” was Jeremiah’s. It didn’t make sense for this land to be bought during this time. The land was already captured by the enemy, and Jeremiah would likely never been recognized as the owner of it. However, God revealed to Jeremiah (because he was a prophet) that this was in His will for Jeremiah. So, in front of everyone in the courts, he signed the papers and paid 17 shekels of silver.

To many, this wouldn’t have made been a smart move. It wouldn’t have made any sense. Why would he spend money on land that would never be recognized as his?

Jeremiah believed in the promises of God to redeem His people and His promises to restore the land- even when it was hard, even when it didn’t make sense. He relied on God’s Word and not the opinions of men or himself.

I like to drive mostly because I think my way makes more sense, and it’s easier.

I like to be the one steering, though I’m not sure that’s always a good idea. My stops are abrupt, and my dad claims my turns give him whiplash- he’s a bit dramatic though LOL.

But really, when God’s driving, why would I want to steer?

He’s the One I know I can rely on to get me through the waters. He’s the One I know I can trust through the wild jet ski rides and on the soothing sunset drives. It’s easy to tell God I’ll let Him drive and then find my arm reaching over to “help” Him steer. But that’s not my job, and I shouldn’t try to make it that. My job is to seek Him, listen to Him and follow Him.

My job is to just enjoy the ride.

I can trust God to drive me in the direction I’m supposed to be in, the speed I’m headed at and the destination when I finally stop.

So now, when I’m asked if I want to drive, I just answer, “No thanks. I just want to enjoy the ride.” I usually enjoy the view a lot better too.