What would it look like to live with no fears?
I walked into my professor’s office at 9 a.m. on Friday and sat down in a chair. My heart pounded as I faced her with fear in my eyes and disappointment in my heart. “I don’t think I can do this,” I told her. I was stressed all week leading up to this moment.
Earlier that week, she gave the assignment to write a story about someone I didn’t know while inviting myself to follow them around and ask intense, personal questions. This was an easy assignment for most students in the class, but I deeply struggled with it. I actually started nervous sweating when she assigned it to us- it went against everything in my nature.
The reason for my stress wasn’t because of practical things like not having enough time to get it done or what I would write about. It was because it required something of me I wasn’t ready for. *Cue the hives* It required me to step out of what I’m used to and into the things I fear the most:
- I fear what other people might think of me.
- I fear things outside of my comfort zone.
- I fear disappointing people.
These three fears were the center of my assignment, and I panicked because of it. I let an opportunity to invite fear to feed lies into the places of my life God was most at work in.
I fear what other people might think of me because of my desire to please people. The problem comes when I find myself caring more about what they think than what God thinks. I want everyone to be happy; I don’t want anything to go wrong; and it would be the end of the world if someone was frustrated with me.
Let me repeat this: I had to beg a complete stranger to spend time with me. What if they think I’m annoying? What if they don’t want to spend time with me? What if I’m bothering them? I fed myself the fear that people won’t like me, and I need to replace it with confidence in knowing I am valued even if they don’t like me.
I shouldn’t fear what other people think- I should only look at truth written in God’s Word about who He says I am when I start to question it.
I fear things outside of my comfort zone because I like to play it safe. The problem comes when I let my comfort dictate my actions instead of letting God take control. Inviting myself to ask someone deep questions is not easy for me. Everyone has different comfort levels, and this was definitely out of mine.
Because I stepped out of my comfort zone, I was able to meet a sweet family and have a relationship with them. I wouldn’t have this had I not done the assignment.
I cannot be chained to fear that keeps me from opportunities the Lord has for me. Confidence can’t be found in staying inside my bubble where it’s safe and convenient. It’s found when I experience new things and push myself to grow through new opportunities.
When I stay in my comfort zone, I risk not seeing God be glorified through situations He’s going to use me for.
I fear disappointing people. The problem comes when I carry the weight of trying to prove myself to someone more than I look to God to carry my value. I put pressure on myself to have a good interview, to collect the right information, to write the perfect story so that I could please my professor. I poured countless hours into the paper because I didn’t want to disappoint her.
I learned that I don’t need to work so hard to prove myself when I am already enough. I need to work hard and get a good grade but not because that adds any value to my worth.
Out of all these fears, my ultimate fear should be if I didn’t do the things God has called me to do. The devil uses fear in the forms of insecurities and temptation to stop us from living our lives the way God intends us to. When we live out of fear, we live out of God’s original purpose for us: to intentionally pursue relationships with people and lead them to Him.
I was reminded to challenge myself beyond my comfort zone and to do hard things. My fear started as small worries that grew to be big insecurities. The big insecurities led to lack of confidence in myself and what I was capable of (as I was reminded when my professor called me out on it).
I almost let fear get in the way of what God was doing and how He was working.
My professor telling me that I needed to get over myself was the wake-up call I needed. Sitting in her office, she instructed me to raise my right hand to take an oath. The oath was a promise that I would get over my fears and anything that keeps me from being confident in my abilities.
She reminds me of the oath every time we meet for class.
I still don’t know what grade I got on my story, but I’m proud. I worked to overcome my fears and became more confident in myself by tackling a few of the things I am most afraid of.
Fear is found on the other side of insecurity- I want to live my life with no fear.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1
Psalm 27:1
2 Comments
Ginger Houck
Ashtyn, you are the most incredible young lady that I know. God will carry your fear for you as He carries you each day. You don’t have to prove to your worth, as you are gold in God’s eyes. Love you ?
Karan
You perfectly describe me when I get out of my comfort zone. I know these feelings and panic you describe so we’ll. Thank you for letting me see things in a different way. Well written. So proud of you.