Put Down the Weight
They were resting on the rack in front of me. I lifted the dumbbells, throwing them back down almost as fast as I grabbed them. My arm crumbled at the weight. I chose the same ones I picked up many times before, only now they felt heavier, and I felt lighter. I hadn’t been here in a while.
I fought the urge to feel disappointed over my recent lack of consistency in getting to the gym. Time at the gym took a backseat priority over its usual front seat. Therefore, the weight felt heavier, and I felt weaker. I had a list of new interests and reasons for every extra-curricular I chose to replace this formerly appointed place in my schedule.
With a sweat-soaked tank top, shaky red arms and a blistering grip, I continued to go back each week. I needed to establish a habit of going to break the difficult pattern of neglecting to go. It was not that I did not like to exercise, I loved it, but I began to prioritize my events over my health. I set a goal to strengthen these muscles three times a week, not backing down on the challenge.
It was harder than I anticipated. The physical challenge diminished compared to the mental obstacle that this should be easier. I could not let on that I struggled halfway through a workout. The 15-and-25-pound weights were taken and used by others, which gave even more reason that my 10-pound weights should not leave me exhausted. No one could notice that my arms almost gave out at the last repetition – making it look easy breezy.
The disappointment in my abilities still loomed, but I kept training, and my strength kept building.
Other muscles receive training in the day-to-day things we do – school, career, friends, family, time management, and service projects. We build into what we invest our time into – strengthening our endurance. We try to be better and do better; do what is right and be what is right. Disappointment follows when we realize we have failed and must start all over again – weak arms and light weights. We feel all but weighed down by the guilt of our shame and discouragement of our failures – or others’.
The weight we carry every day can be tiring. Our energy is spent, our resistance is weak, and our mind is drained. Depending on the season, it can make us struggle to walk – tired and sore from the challenge of the day before.
We take on what we have done or what we have been through and constantly feel less than or incapable because we keep trying to place a band-aid on a wound that keeps reopening. Our inability to fix the situation leaves us depleted because we are exhausted. We feel exhausted because we have carried pressure in an attempt to fix ourselves and save those around us.
Let me remind you: You cannot fix. You are not able to save. You are not made to carry that weight.
We will crumble and fall every time we try to bear the weight of this world – anger, bitterness, resentment, revenge, regret, grief, frustration, shame, or jealousy. It is too heavy, and we are not qualified or trained to lift that amount, our arm buckles, and the weight caves.
Sin holds us down and keeps us in bondage. Christ lifts us up and carries the burden for us. We find freedom and redemption; the weight is the same, but the load is lighter.
Sit in the heaviness, grieve in the disappointments, but when you take your cares to God, expect Him to show up and change it – expect Him to change you.
We no longer need to feel bound to our past or the wrongs we have done. Shame tells us we will never amount to anything because of our past. Redemption tells us we are made new despite all the wrongs in us and the wickedness around us because our identity is found in who GOD is – not the weight we carry.
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved,” Psalm 55:22 (ESV).
You cannot fix. You are not able to save. You are not made to carry that weight. You can point others to the One who does fix and will save. God’s great love and mercy allow us to rest in freedom. He carries our burdens because we are not able to carry them ourselves.
Only GOD has the strength to take what is heavy and make it light. Only GOD can take what defeats and piece it together for good! Only GOD has the power to take what gives shame and anxiety to make us free.
You will never have the strength, no matter how often you train or how much you work to lift it. God is the only one who can, and our only responsibility is to keep coming back to Him to build endurance, not the weight.
I had to keep showing up at the gym three times a week to build the strength to endure.
The weight you are carrying may feel heavier and you may feel weaker, keep coming back to Jesus. He will give you the strength to endure as you keep relying on Him.
We serve a big God who can lift big weight. He is not intimidated by the amount we are carrying.
The dumbbells are easier, and I am a little stronger now. It does not mean that there are no challenges. It means I know the One in control of the challenges, and the pressure is not on me to carry it myself. God will give me the strength to do all things through Him. THAT builds my endurance to keep going.
