The Blessing of Inconveniences

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Sometimes it feels like the difficulties we face are nothing but unsuccessful attempts.  We often see the uncomfortable changes we make as monotonous tasks that lead to disappointing conclusions that serve no purpose.

These are the moments that we neglect to see the blessing of inconvenience.

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The sound of Mentos rattled against the pens collecting near the bottom of the bag.  It made a distinct clicking sound with every step I took across the crosswalk.  The backpack on my shoulder was held together by a zipper about to burst- the weight of materials and other “necessities” (aka snacks) were crammed inside.

The battered pages of my planner prove the craziness of mid-semester.  Scratch marks and eraser shavings indicate my indecisiveness to commit to which assignment I will sacrifice sleep for over the next few days.  Sloppy writing scribbled across the once-blank notebook pages suggested procrastinated tasks and rushed thoughts.  Empty iced coffee cups stashed full of used caffeine packets are stacked high in the trash can.  The battery on my laptop kept flashing red to show that it was tired, and so was I.

It had been a long week, and there was another long week ahead; but I was determined to accomplish my goals and complete the plan I made.

I stood in the parking lot of the Starbucks next to my apartment. Just minutes before, I attempted to download an online textbook to study for an exam the next day. Instead of seeing the text that I am usually overwhelmed by, I got a white screen.  So, I decided to get some work accomplished there.  The excuse of watching the laptop search for a signal as the buffer danced around was counteractive to doing work, and it was not helping the growing anxiety I felt from looking at the list of tasks I needed to complete.

The buffer kept dancing, and I kept waiting.

The next morning, I planned to work twice as hard because the previous inconvenience set me back.  A midterm, a few assignments and an application sat like a ticking time bomb on the laptop, waiting to be completed.  An anxiety attack followed when I saw the buffer sign continuing to dance across the screen.  The midterm guidelines required an empty room with no one around, or the exam would be void- no Starbucks today.

The buffer kept dancing, and I kept waiting.

On the third day, I gave up hope that the Internet would be working again. I didn’t even want to look at the circle that kept “loading” and not seeming to get me anywhere.  I was tired of waiting.  I woke up at 5 a.m. to claim a spot in the commons area of my apartment complex, but I discovered it was closed until 10 a.m.  I walked a half-mile to the library, and found a quiet room to study.  After about 30 minutes, I was threatened to be “escorted out.”  Getting kicked out of the library is not my best moment LOL, but it makes me laugh.  I still needed a place to work, and I was frustrated.  

The buffer kept dancing, and I kept waiting.

The waiting was getting old.  It felt like one obstacle after the other kept coming, which I didn’t understand because I planned everything to be as efficient as possible.  I liked my plan because I could depend solely on myself to get the job done.

The only option left was the very last one in my book: ask someone for help.

I don’t typically like to do this because I don’t want to “put anyone out” or “get in the way.”  I also didn’t want to rely on someone else.

It was difficult to trust I could complete the tasks that felt impossible to complete.  I did everything I could to fix and solve the problems myself. I went to a coffee shop; I tried the commons area; I walked to the library; I even bought an entirely new router, hooked it up and connected it by myself (this is real adulting, and I don’t think I’m a fan… I’ll pass next time).  

It was difficult because I had to rely on other people for things I wanted to handle myself. 

It was difficult because I felt inconvenienced.

What began as an annoyance became inconvenient, and what was inconvenient became uncomfortable.  I don’t like being uncomfortable.

The buffer kept dancing, and I kept waiting.

It wasn’t until the end of the week that I realized something: I was so distracted by the frustration of inconvenience that I neglected to see all of the blessings that came from it.

The afternoon I went to Starbucks, I got to sit on the outside patio listening to the sound of Faith Hill playing on the overhead speakers.  I soaked in the warm sunshine as a cool breeze carried the sweet smell of Krispy Kreme donuts baking across the street, and the city of Gainesville tried to feel a little more like fall.  It was a change of scenery I needed for studying, and the sunshine was so good for the soul.

The day I had the midterm with no coffee shop to go to, I messaged friends who so kindly welcomed me into their home for the rest of the week.  I was on the verge of a panic attack from not knowing where I would go, but the fun games we played in between homework breaks lightened my mood. 

The morning I got kicked out of the library, I went back over to my friends’ house and spent the day getting assignments completed.  They know how to make breaks fun- doing homework with them is a lot better than a cranky librarian.  My anxieties ceased, and I could already feel a little weight from the baggage of my workload starting to fall.

Even when things seemed out of my control, God was always working to make it SO good!  He knows what I need, even when that isn’t always what I think I need. 

I am thankful for that week of inconvenience.  I got to spend more time with friends who know me and care for me so well, I learned to trust God to lead me to a solution when I feel there isn’t one, and I (once again) saw God make a way when I least expected it!!!

Sometimes our small inconveniences are part of God’s promises to care for us.  We know what we want at the moment, but He knows what we need all the time.  Just like the buffer that kept dancing, God keeps working; and I keep growing- even when I am waiting.   When I am made uncomfortably inconvenienced, He works for my good.

Thank you, Jesus, for failed WIFI and good friends.  Thank you, Jesus, for small inconveniences.  They lead me where you need me, and I am grateful for any opportunity to see that.

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