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My story of rejection and how I handled it

“You haven’t grown.”

“You aren’t strong.”

“Everything that goes wrong is because of you.”

These are the hurtful words of rejection I allowed someone close to me to speak into my life.  These are the kind of lies I slowly let someone in my inner circle speak, and I let them filter into my private thoughts.

Those words were spoken to me, and I still hear them.  I hear them when I think of the pain that came with hearing this from someone who I thought would build me up.  I hear them when I remember the feeling of my heart being shattered because I feel like I’ve tried so hard and given so much but it’s just not enough.  Maybe I’m not enough.  I hear them and remember crying in my dad’s arms on our front porch when he looked at me and said, “You are not who that person says you are.  You are not how they made you feel.”  I hear them and remember what it’s like to listen to a never-ending record player of someone’s hurtful words spinning around in my head.  It stings, it’s hard and it stabs at my heart in the most tender places. 

But I also know not one of those things are true.

Rejection can grab at the very best of us and get sold to the weakness in others.  We have confidence others are so quick to steal because of their own fears.  There are too many times we give other people the ability to determine how we feel and what we think about ourselves.  I don’t know why we do it, but for some reason we do. 

The words I allowed someone to speak into my life became the words that can hurt me more than anything else.  I didn’t believe these things about myself.  However, I put myself in a dangerous position by allowing words that do not build me up.  It became an insecurity, for a period of time, because I gave it the power to do that. 

The words that hit you the deepest?  Those are some of your insecurities.  These are the things you hope and pray no one ever thinks because all you do and all you work for strives to cover up that no one will ever think this.  And the devil knows it.  Guess what?

You have power over that.

You have the power to decide the impact you’re going to let those words or insecurities have in your life.  You have the power to decide what influences you’re going to let into your mind.  You have the power to choose TRUTH over lies.  Because that is exactly what insecurities and hurtful words are- lies.

The words spoken into my life definitely had the ability to tear me down.  I could choose to listen to them and think I am less of a person, and I’m not deserving of anything.  Or I could recognize it for what it really is. 

The enemy uses other people at crucial times in our life to feed lies that we are already tempted to think ourselves.  If we think this, and other people are telling us this, then it must be true.  It is often when God is wanting to work in us and use us the most, that the devil tries to tear us down.

My identity and confidence is found in who my Creator says I am.  I am growing because God leads me where He needs me, even when it might not be evident at the time.  I am mature and strong because I make my decisions according to what Scripture says and not what someone else tells me to do.  And I know not to buy into the lie that I’m not good enough.

The truth is, it’s just like what my dad reminded me of that night I couldn’t hold back the feelings of hopelessness.  I imagine our Heavenly Father is wanting to do the same when we look at ourselves and only point out the things that are wrong.  He wraps us in His arms and whispers, “You are not what you think or how you feel.  You are worthy of being loved and adored because I made you.” 

When we are tempted to buy into lies, replace it with evidence you know to be true.  Replace the insecurity with a truth.  Block it out and shut it down.  We don’t have any more room for it!

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

This is a picture of something I wrote to myself in a journal. Practice physically writing truth that defeats lies. It really does help!

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